I just read about this year's International Wave of Light that took place on October 15 at 7PM. I'll have to remember this for next year. What a beautiful thing to be a part of—either with a parish or at home. Did anyone else participate?
I got in on it a little late in the day, but yes, I did. We had our first loss at the end of July. I had no idea how hard it was until it happened to me. It's so good when people are given permission to share about these losses because many still treat it as a taboo subject.
I assume it would be OK to participate even if you personally haven't lost a child. I think everyone is close to someone who has, and that leaves a hole in you too.
I agree, Jodie Anna. The thing that helped me the most was talking to others who had also gone through it.
Sh. Patty....you are so right, it is definitely OK to participate if someone hasn't had any losses themselves. Actually, I think it gives those of us that have suffered some much needed support and comfort. And it makes us feel like we are not alone. I have had 5 pregnancies and have 2 living children. The loss of a child is something that nobody told me could happen, nobody told me it was possible, nobody told me it was so painful. BUT, after our first little angel left us...we were surrounded by friends and family who gave us love and support. It really helped. And like Jodie Anna stated, it is such a taboo subject for so many people. My own mother and sister had several losses before i did, but NEVER even spoke about them to ME ! Hopefully, this changes. My prayers are with all of you.
Yes, Christine, when it happened to me I was shocked to find out how common it was and that so few had ever talked about this with me, that so few had prepared me for the possibility. Why don't we know about it? That is one reason I talk about it. Because it may happen to anyone and I want others to know they are not alone and it is not shameful.
Since I had two miscarriages (within two months) a year and a half ago, I've been keeping a list of the names of babies who have been lost through miscarriage or soon after birth. Last year I wasn't well enough-- due to pregnancy sickness!-- to do much more than light a candle on the 15th, but this year it was nice to have the list to go through, name each child, pray for them and ask them to intercede for us. The list is definitely something I plan to maintain.
Mat. Jenny Schroedel wrote a book, Naming the Child: Hope-Filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death, and I highly recommend it for anyone who has lost a child. She has a great post on what they did at her parish this year on the 15th: http://jenschroedel.com/2010/10/international-wave-of-light/.
Sarah, I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I assume the pregnancy sickness eventually led to the sweet baby you are holding in your picture? (Congrats!) That's a great idea about your list. When I was talking to my doctor about miscarriage, he said that many women have several children in heaven interceding for them for each child they get to raise here. It was a bittersweet statement, but a beautiful way to think about the sadness of miscarriage. I too recommend that book. I found it around the time I miscarried a year and a half ago or so (were yours in May of 2009?) and it really helped me work through some things—about my miscarriage and about the death of a friend's baby girl a couple of years previous. Oh, thanks for the link to Mat. Jenny's post—it was what inspired this one! :)
I didn't (I don't belong to this sacred sorority) but I know that Michelle, Sarah and Jodie Anna did.
ReplyDeleteI got in on it a little late in the day, but yes, I did. We had our first loss at the end of July. I had no idea how hard it was until it happened to me. It's so good when people are given permission to share about these losses because many still treat it as a taboo subject.
ReplyDeleteI assume it would be OK to participate even if you personally haven't lost a child. I think everyone is close to someone who has, and that leaves a hole in you too.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Jodie Anna. The thing that helped me the most was talking to others who had also gone through it.
Sh. Patty....you are so right, it is definitely OK to participate if someone hasn't had any losses themselves. Actually, I think it gives those of us that have suffered some much needed support and comfort. And it makes us feel like we are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI have had 5 pregnancies and have 2 living children. The loss of a child is something that nobody told me could happen, nobody told me it was possible, nobody told me it was so painful. BUT, after our first little angel left us...we were surrounded by friends and family who gave us love and support. It really helped. And like Jodie Anna stated, it is such a taboo subject for so many people. My own mother and sister had several losses before i did, but NEVER even spoke about them to ME ! Hopefully, this changes. My prayers are with all of you.
Yes, Christine, when it happened to me I was shocked to find out how common it was and that so few had ever talked about this with me, that so few had prepared me for the possibility. Why don't we know about it? That is one reason I talk about it. Because it may happen to anyone and I want others to know they are not alone and it is not shameful.
ReplyDeleteSince I had two miscarriages (within two months) a year and a half ago, I've been keeping a list of the names of babies who have been lost through miscarriage or soon after birth. Last year I wasn't well enough-- due to pregnancy sickness!-- to do much more than light a candle on the 15th, but this year it was nice to have the list to go through, name each child, pray for them and ask them to intercede for us. The list is definitely something I plan to maintain.
ReplyDeleteMat. Jenny Schroedel wrote a book, Naming the Child: Hope-Filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death, and I highly recommend it for anyone who has lost a child. She has a great post on what they did at her parish this year on the 15th: http://jenschroedel.com/2010/10/international-wave-of-light/.
Sarah, I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I assume the pregnancy sickness eventually led to the sweet baby you are holding in your picture? (Congrats!) That's a great idea about your list. When I was talking to my doctor about miscarriage, he said that many women have several children in heaven interceding for them for each child they get to raise here. It was a bittersweet statement, but a beautiful way to think about the sadness of miscarriage. I too recommend that book. I found it around the time I miscarried a year and a half ago or so (were yours in May of 2009?) and it really helped me work through some things—about my miscarriage and about the death of a friend's baby girl a couple of years previous. Oh, thanks for the link to Mat. Jenny's post—it was what inspired this one! :)
ReplyDelete