Missing

Missing the mark.

Missing blogging.

Missing cleaning.

I miss writing.  I think in blog posts.  But then the baby cries or wakes up or the girls start hitting each other. So I've been avoiding (most days) writing while the kids are up.  But then who wants to blog when one's husband is finally home from work and the kids are asleep?  Well, obviously, many people.  But I'd rather spend time with my husband and probably some Doctor Who.

Did I mention my computer eats half of the words I type because of the way I hold my wrists on it most of the time, which makes it somehow select part or all of what I wrote and delete it with the word I am typing at that moment?  My hands have the "Undo" keyboard shortcut on speed dial.  That adds precious seconds to the amount of time it takes me to type out a thought, by which time all the kids are probably screaming.  It's just the season I'm in.

Another thing I'm missing is having a clean home.  It's "new normal" around here, and at the moment, "normal" seems to be dirty.

Yuck.

You know what I think the hardest part about having a lot of kids is (so far anyway, with my whole five years of experience here)?  It's not having another person in your family.  It's having another baby around.  Again.  And another one.  And a fifth time.  It's having to pause all your homemaking progress, and get really efficient, yet again, because a little person needs you quite often, but you still need to make the other people dinner.  Good thing my body makes the baby dinner.  Great thing that I have such a helpful, patient husband.

And trust me, it's great to have an excuse to put my feet up in my comfy über-pillowed papazan chair-nest, grab a book and my too-many-times-microwaved coffee, and nurse my son who gulps and stares up at me with giant eyes while his feet somehow manage to turn in so that they are sole-to-sole and just sort of stay there like he's holding his hands except they are his feet... what was I talking about?  Was I cleaning something before I sat down?  Eh.  I'll just read another chapter of H.M.S. Surprise and hope the girls keep playing quietly with that pile of sponges.  Or play money.  Or cups of water. 

Why are there puddles all over the house?

Sigh.

The last thing I want to do right now is do things I don't want to do.  However, those things still "need done."

My littles are big enough to be learning how to help, and they are, but they aren't quite big enough to really take much of the burden.  So, I have to bite the bullet and adhere to some standards.  While I'd like to believe that allowing myself to cook breakfast, say morning prayers, and read to my kids in my PJs is the key to getting things done around here (boy, does that look silly typed out), that means that I am sweaty and in my PJs drinking lukewarm coffee at my computer until the kids start fighting around 9:30AM (or earlier... or later).  I finally jump in the shower, jump out to nurse the baby who has, by now, awakened from his morning nap.... Finally, we end up starting school around 10:30 (or later... certainly not earlier), when we really need to break to make lunch at 11:00 or I will die of hunger.  (Nursing, remember?)

I need a higher standard.  I know my kids are little and I just had a baby four months ago.  But is it the kids needing me that keeps me in my PJs?

No.

It is the coffee and the computer calling to me for just a few minutes while they are playing....

And what do I see on the screen?  Photos that tempt and blogs that convince and what I end up doing ultimately is spending money to buy the order that will only come from me tackling my stuff.  Yes, italics and bold.

I just read these words at Like Mother, Like Daughter:

You need to clear your mind of all those perfect magazine pictures and find your own order.

Oh.

Yes.

Yes, I do.  It's OK to let those blogs and pictures draw me into communities that I love and inspire me to make my home a better place or to buy a product that will serve me well and make my life easier.  I live in the denim skirt I bought after reading Matushka Emily's Early Autumn Wardrobe post.  But I need to address the stuff I already have that is clogging my house and my life to really find that peace and order I am craving.

Leila also asks,

Are you getting up on time?

I haven't even read that post yet but I know I need to.  (And I need to fix my computer.  I just did the "Undo" speed-dial no less than four times for that sentence.)

I know that getting sleep and getting up is part of the key.  I need to get back to having a goal to get up on time, get showered and dressed at a reasonable moment in my day (maybe it won't be before breakfast, but it sure as heck should be before I meander over to the computer and lose half-to-all of my homeschooling day... and yes, my kids are little, but we need the good habits now), and get breakfast on the table before my husband is out the door.

I don't want to beat myself up about not sticking to some ridiculous schedule written to the minute, but I want some ideals.

Tomorrow (well, today for anyone reading this... well, today for me now that it's after midnight, I suppose), my dear wonderful husband is taking the girls on some errands.  John and I will be home alone together.

First, I'm going to get us all our something-with-syrup Saturday breakfast and get our naps and showers and prayers taken care of.

Then, I'm going to think about how to have a Reasonably Clean House by starting with the master bedroom.  I've had a hunch for a few weeks now that I need to pay more attention to that room, and Leila wonders

So, although Flylady has you start with your kitchen sink, and certainly, much has to happen before the sink gets shiny, which makes her idea clever, I wonder:

If you start in the kitchen, will you ever leave?

On many days, no.  I do not.   And although feeding one's family is something for which one should be commended and is no small feat with three kids under five and under my feet, I know there is more I could be doing.  I don't want to live in clutter and I don't want to live in dirty.

Once something has been done in our bedroom, I will go visit the Nester (who linked over to Like Mother, Like Daughter in the first place) and I will soak up every one of her 31 Days to a Less Messy Nest posts.

Let's just see what I can accomplish before the Nativity fast.

Or at least before Christmas.